I recently graduated with my master’s degree. My mother and mother-in-law flew separately to my graduation from the other side of the country. I am grateful they both came, but while my MIL was here she made repeated comments that I felt put down my degree. She said that my graduation ceremony was really for my husband because he supported me through school.
While he did work full-time to support us, I also worked while attending school full-time. She gave him a graduation gift, as well as a shirt that said, “I survived my wife’s graduate degree.” I was shocked and hurt by this, and she kept encouraging him to wear it on my actual graduation day. I found the shirt offensive because it trivialized my accomplishments into something that was apparently extremely difficult for him.
After the fact, I told my husband how I felt (through tears) but he told me that while he could see my point, it was just a joke. For the remainder of the visit, she continued to ask him to wear the shirt, but he continued to dodge the question and not wear it because he knew it made me upset. I tried to grin and bear it, but I was deeply hurt and felt mocked. She has had a pattern of making little negative comments about my degree and future job.
I want to address this, but it’s been a few weeks now and I feel weird calling her to tell her how I feel after the fact. I do appreciate all the effort she put in coming to attend, but at the end of the day, my feelings were still hurt. How could I call and explain my feelings to her?
trivialize: to make something seem less important or serious than it really is – used to show disapproval
dodge: to move quickly to avoid someone or something
bear: to bravely accept or deal with a painful, difficult, or upsetting situation
mock: to laugh at someone or something and try to make them look stupid by saying unkind things about them or by copying them
