I am a 30-year-old woman. I’ve been with my fiancé for almost seven years. When we first met, my hair was platinum blonde. Now that I am a hairstylist, I enjoy playing around with my hair color and have come to love dark blue. I’ve been blue for a few years and it didn’t seem like a big deal.

Yesterday, my fiancé broke the news to me that his parents are refusing to pay for the wedding venue if my hair is anything except my natural color. I was completely taken aback.

There’s a laundry list: They don’t approve of my tattoos, my recent weight gain due to some serious health issues (I had discussed my health problems privately with his mother), and that I’m not making as much money as I should be (hairstylists are struggling because we’re in a recession).

This family has been loving toward me this entire relationship, and all of a sudden I’ve found out how they really feel. I feel crushed. They were too cowardly to talk to me about their objections and instead put their son into a tough position.

I’m angry. His mom has been extremely apologetic to me (through text), but I honestly don’t want anything to do with them. My fiancé feels the same way. It’s to the point that we’re about to elope without telling anyone.

Is it wrong of me to stand my ground and say no to his parents? I appreciate them helping with the wedding, but I don’t want the help if they have stipulations. I need some insight from an outside source, thank you!


be taken aback (by something): to be very surprised or shocked by something

coward: someone who is not at all brave

elope: to leave your home secretly in order to get married

stipulation: something that must be done, and which is stated as part of an agreement, law, or rule